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    Long Distance Memory. (For Amber)

    2008 - 10.18

    A reach, a touch, a long distance memory

    Caresses you across the miles

    Down the river where turbulence ends

    And brings back sunny smiles.


    Yes, we fight on, victims of loves war

    I remember you from that first day

    Standing at your door.

    Did we ever dream of this?

    Would we have stopped had we known?


    I can still feel your kiss

    Out here on these paths I roam




    2008 - 10.18

    Stellar, I can tell you love me by the curl in your smile

    I know that when you hug me, you got some kind of style (Uh Huh)

    Life has been getting so hard with the things you do to me

    I know you don’t trust me, but you know.. you don’t see


    Stellar Right  Now, Lets go……


    Stellar, things are getting so strange, won’t you stay for a while?

    You got some kind of beauty, you got some kind of guile (Uh Huh)

    I’m gonna’ have to love you, because you listen to me

    You just blow my mind Stella, Baby you… set me free


    Stellar Right Now, Let’s go……..


    Stellar, since I been with you , things just pick up speed

    Freeway getting too hard, too far for me to see (Uh Huh)

    Don’t you know that so far, you’re everything I need

    Quit your dancing Stellar, won’t you… come to me.


    Stellar Right Now, Let’s go……..




    The Sky today Was Blue

    2008 - 10.18

    The Sky Today Was Blue

    Instead of the normal grey

    Looked again it was true

    Still I have nothing to say


    This Ole world Doesn’t do much ‘cept go round and round.

    It’s we who make it seem oh so strange

    It’s we that make it so sorrow bound


    Cast your lot into life if your lucky you might get one or two tries

    Keep your head low down here.


    The words today are gone

    The ones I need to say

    It seems so very wrong these things that get in the way


    Old times now are passed, new times are now new

    You just knew it couldn’t last,

    The sky today was Blue



    Summer 2008

    2008 - 10.18

    Oh come now please don’t make me laugh

    We just both learned our friends are snakes in the grass

    And God it hurts because of our pasts

    And we can’t let go of the laughs.


    The summer sun I heard it sing for you

    My whole heart it rings for you.

    I won’t hurt you,

    Wont lie to you

    Won’t be tied down

    Won’t be your clown

    But, I’ll always walk beside you.

    Your best friend.


    I don’t make vows by half.

    Like so many from your past.

    I will walk the line, do the time.

    Because you said you would too.


    I want a family so bad

    Do anything to be a Dad

    My life would be fulfilled , my soul could chill

    It’d be such a thrill

    Yet such a long path.


    The music that I play

    Grows clearer every day

    But it’s not the goal

    I just wanna’ have some fun

    And hold the torch for a moment.


    I’m stronger than you think

    Let me help, don’t put me on the shelf

    Or in a closet space

    Away from the rest of the place.


    You know I really love you

    More and more each day

    I want to put my arms around and kiss you

    Together, when we can get away.



    The Train

    2008 - 10.18

    I been on this train a long, long time

    Seen every state in the Union so great

    Clicking away on these tracks so sublime

    Seen so many stations along the way.


    Sometimes I got off at these stations

    Even if it was not my connection

    I would explore the cities of the nation

    Still looking for my dream selection


    I had my heart opened sometimes

    Others, closed it like a vise

    Sometimes at these stations

    I’d cry to the sky, before leaving on time.


    The Grateful Dead traveled in this fashion

    And after a while, so did I. (Watch your backs)

    Fearing the day the Music Died in its passion

    Kept us on the ground rolling on these tracks


    I don’t tell any secrets, like so many have done before me

    I keep my mouth shut about the things I have seen.

    I don’t want to scare the children

    Who come in all ages and from many different scenes.


    My body bleeds from the wounds

    From people who couldn’t handle their knives

    My soul it went wandering on the dunes

    And missed the train, when it left that night.


    Oh, and the women who loved me

    But wouldn’t give me their time

    In the end they only mocked me

    No matter how hard I tried and tried


    And the men, they were hard as nails

    Or too stupid to even try

    They only saw the great beginning

    And just couldn’t find the Rhyme


    And the train with its great engine

    Would wander up the tracks right on time

    Indifferent to its many passengers

    Who only were there for the ride.



    Time Travel

    2008 - 10.18

    I have stood here before and I know this place.

    Pummeled around into this space, I’ve walked all these wonderful corridors before.

    Searching room-to-room and door-to-door,

    Looking for the things that are hid, I crossed that line just as you did.

    Thinking we were noble in our desperate cause.

    We learned much and then we learned a little more,

    Every thought a new plateau to another opened door.

    But have you ever wondered why no one lives here anymore?

    You can go anywhere in this place without fear.

    Those who came went away never to return here

    We are just following their well worn footsteps,

    We the ones who think we are so adept

    Are chasing their shadows the same as they,

    Who once passed here at another day.





    2008 - 10.18

    I was just sitting here the other day

    When they told me you’d gone away

    Gave up on this old world, to you it didn’t mean much

    I didn’t know how to react

    My old friend is dead in a few words a fact

    Am I now am a little closer to you.

    But I still don’t know what to do.

    They just wouldn’t let you be as you ran around being free

    So you cut you your life to the ground

    Now tell me what have you found?

    All those summer days and winter nights

    Man those times were such a site

    Running’ around being a clown

    When did it ever get you down?

    Empty space where you once stood now don’t feel so good

    My friend who stood next to me

    Has put an end to his grief and misery.

    Left us here to carry on

    The next line in the song

    All our hopes and all our dreams have left us

    For the moment so it seems




    2008 - 10.18

    I am working with my brain

    Trying to increase its processing capacity

    Feeding it new and old programs

    Trying to beat the curve of depreciation.


    I put in more RAM

    Upgraded the processor

    I can’t fix the video

    It is getting dim and blurry


    I never overheat

    Having learned this is the way

    I run cold and fast

    Neurons fire like transistors


    I installed a new operating system

    Having outlived the old one

    This one can multitask

    Without a General Protection Fault.


    I changed the wallpaper

    Looking for some grand new scene

    I changed the look and feel

    However, I still have Command.com


    I’ve gone wireless

    Living on Radar Love

    I process in real time

    Working with imaginary numbers


    All in all a new package

    Still on the market ready to work

    Computing skills now enhanced

    Cyborg journey forward





    2008 - 10.18

    Whispers from the quiet ones present me with their wisdom

    If I learn to be still, I can hear their words

    If I am brave, I will act on them

    If I act on them, I will see.

    If I can see, I will be thankful

    If I am thankful, I will be kind

    If I am kind, I will know joy.

    Whispers from the quiet ones present me with their wisdom


    Thank you.



    Who am I?

    2008 - 10.18

    First of all man, I like to fly in my dreams , this is one of my greatest pleasures.

    Through the unlimited space of dreams.

    I was a like you a child once

    Candy bars cost a nickel

    A can of soda cost you 10 cents.

    It was always the best thrill to get a nickel. From Grandpa , Dad, Uncle Eddie.


    I had a little car I used to peddle down the sidewalk.

    The mailman lived in mortal fear of me, I had this all metal missle with a crank that would go as fast as I could take it.


    When my Dad like the rest of the fathers on this city block of middle class worker would work on their cars,  I would turn mine upside down and “work” on it  too. The neighbors where all very kind and I was a precocious child who want to know everything from everyone.


    I was fascinated by technology especially the electrical nature and would hang out with my Grand father, who built houses and did construction, big jobs back east that are now the major arteries for the Chicago to Pennsylvania area. Passing through Ohio and basically opening up farmland. I did not know it as a child , but I was witnessing the end of America as we founded it. Little did I know how fast technology was about to change.


    My grandmother was the only one who really supported my absentminded state, I was fascinated with animals and I could understand the wind  on certain nights, she supported the deep family secret of the Indian blood in me and showed me shamanistic ways, but hers was the way of a woman. I knew I was different even back then and having experienced the death of my father, (I was Daddy’s Boy) I had lost a sense of direction and he had left me with her, my mother, a women I hardly knew. I had spent all of my time with Dad. Grandma did the best she could to be a mom and she was really more of a friend than a Grand mother. The Story of what she taught me is meant for another tale.


    The world wasn’t as crowded by then, not by a long shot. Travel was still a big to do that you molded your life around to get anywhere.


    But One thing Dad used to love to do it was to take us out for the muggy evening ice cream cone, it was the little things I learned by watching him. He was a wild yet tamed, loved, yet pursued. Had Goals, plans, and ideas. Somehow this all I learned as a six year old. The Psychiatrist say that between 5-8 years old a child especially a boy will bond with his father. I didn’t get a chance to finish our journey, I had to figure it out watching other men.


    Illinois is a corn State, and when we spent time going out for Sunday drives it would hypnotize me as we drove past it,. It was almost a Hallucinatic state. This was when the out of body experience started occurring.


    Bailing hay can be rough work, You put in hours from dawn till midnite and your body aches for it. in the eve. You get used to wearing a tool belt and swaggering around like the older men. And if you worked hard they treated you like a normal man. I really liked this.


    Cars were the strangest thing compared to now. Every thing back then seem so module and convenient, yet today the ideas that were used to be considered luxury are plain old car that every one is used to and has no real respect for.


    Car design was first model  by space  design. Sweeping fins and the over all ambiance of the vehicle was modeled after the media image of rockets. Today, most of the cars have several computer systems aboard and I don’t know if I could fix one if I had too.


    I remember tree forts, we had a cool one that was tucked away in the nearby forest, many things happened there hiding place to drink, look at porn, show each other our penises. It was actually a staging area for many of the ways I thought and acted after setting myself free.


    Meanwhile things were happening, Fleetwood Mac was at the top of the charts, Elvis was Dead. It was to be the beginning of a roller coaster ride out of the 70’s to the  into the here and now. I will try to share as I may gentle reader so you may have the benefit of what I have seen an done (so far)


    I heard yesterday we lost (Curtis Mayfied “Super Fly”) another, this will be my biggest challenge, dealing with losing my heroes over the next few years. That is why I am picking up and playing my guitar, just so I can say, “See I said I’d do it” I will carry the torch if only for a while.


    The first person I saw in concert was David Cassidy.



    For John Ono Lennon.

    2008 - 10.18

    You played your Mind Games and then let them fall

    Gave it all up to get it all

    So now you say you’ve got a wish

    That all of mankind should live in bliss

    You took all that pain and gave it back

    As a feeling of love that none of us lack

    You gave Peace a chance and it bore you a dove

    You gave it to us and called it love.



    Thank you John.


    The Beatles pictures




    2008 - 10.18

    Well old friend you see that I’m back

    For some comfort on this day

    Take my thoughts and turn them from black

    You and I will just drift away.


    It’s been long the road was hard

    But now it is a different dream

    I did not know I could see so far

    And things are not what they seem


    The Storm it grows, it howls away

    Trying to tear at our security

    Although some think it’s time to play

    Better run and hurry


    Screaming out for the silence I seek

    For the evil eye has got me

    Nothing I do, nothing I say

    Will persuade this thing to go away


    I try to run and hide, but it is apparent

    This thing is in my mind.

    Deadly , Foul and fiery

    This Demon gnaws my soul


    Through all of time

    I get more weary

    But I will escape

    Its Ghoulish hold.




    Hiking Alone in the Sierras

    2008 - 10.18

    As I climbed that old forgotten road

    I saw trees of ancient years past

    Hearing echoes of long ago

    I sat and listened, breathe held fast.


    Birds sang the tune of life

    Water carried its message to me.

    Fear not, want not, bear no strife

    And truly, you shall be free.


    I climbed ever onward

    Knowing not my path

    The joy is in the journey

    Walking it to the end.


    Resuming my life towards the Sun

    I wandered under the moon

    Many a crevice and many a crack

    Were hidden in that gloom


    Fell at times otherwise I flew

    Traveling about the lands

    Sometimes finding something new

    Other times, nothing but sand.


    I reached a peak, is this the end?

    Are all my dreams lost?

    Have I traveled for so long

    To pay such a bitter cost?


    No my friend look around you

    The sky is above and blue

    Where the road ends, the sky begins

    And so it waits for you.






    2008 - 10.18

    Fragments of a Shattered Circle flower to meet again

    The never ending chain, has found a home in man.

    Speak now for we haven’t much time

    The perils grow, they are so sublime.

    Find your heart amidst the noise

    Hold it to the light.

    Watch it glow and be healed, turning from dark to bright.




    Birthday Poem (Tripping at the Beach; Golden Gate Park)

    2008 - 10.18

    My, My what do we have here

    You pretty women  all look lost

    Your eyes are full of fear

    Did you pay the cost

    To feel loves burning spear?


    Ocean noise beats my brain

    Crashing on the rocky shore

    Calling me back once again

    With wisdom and wise old lore.


    Fiery Sun beats over my head

    I’m sweating out the day.

    Now oh Lord where will I be lead

    Or made forever to stay?


    Dusty sand pulls at my feet

    Ever on to the trails end

    Rocks and logs for a seat

    Animals and trees for friends.


    Windy day, blows away

    Counting the earths plenty

    Mother Nature has her say

    On this day I am twenty.



    Maya Circle

    2008 - 10.18

    Having never glimpsed back

    At the vision that I saw

    For confidence I lack

    And must sit still in awe


    Years have flown by

    Blurred by a veil of tears

    Truth once again becomes a lie

    Love is replaced by fears.


    It was but the patterns in the sky

    Aurora Borealis in my brain

    Moments frozen for eternity

    Left me with nothing to say


    It reached out and held my eye

    Life was lost in its mysteries

    Being but a part of the whole

    I wondered where the treasure lie


    Long did it take me

    ‘ere I did know

    The truth could not be seen

    With just my eyes




    Quote Brought Back from a Trip

    2008 - 10.18

    But the ever incorrigible  rules of the mundane , bend not at the twist of the game. Their very manifestation is the mark of their decline



    My Nemesis

    2008 - 10.18


    I can almost see you

    Out there on the edge

    What are you?

    Why have you come?

    Interrupting  my thoughts on this beautiful day

    Now nothing will ever be the same.

    Sometimes when the mists of my mind part

    Your outline is clearer

    Did we meet sometime before?


    Crablike, we walk sideways around each others fortress of disguises

    Looking for the vital spot, the bad actor.

    Stalking each other, nightly now in the Dreamscape

    Because one has grown strong and will not relent.

    What is this game I must waste my preious time with?

    Are you a pawn too?


    You have more of the board than I

    For you are fluid, traveling in many mediums

    Appearing in undefined spaces.

    But I have been blessed with the sight to pursue you

    And I an see for miles.

    Following you through myriads of mysteries

    We suddenly polarized

    You must have laughed when I followed you in

    Knowing I was damned in a different sort of way.

    But now, as I walk through the flames, sword in hand

    Very much alive. I see the horror on your face

    I have come for you.




    Quiet Desperation

    2008 - 10.18

    I’m lookin’ back at times that were

    Fantastic galactic, it made my heart stir.

    Loved ones who held me

    Where are you now?

    Can’t you see I’m desperate?

    So desperate to be found.


    I’m looking back

    My mistakes lined up in a row

    Paying my dues, reaping what I sow

    The grief I caused and those who gave me pain

    Where am I now and what is my name?


    I’m lookin’ back, reflections in my minds eye

    All this misspent time

    Makes me want to cry.

    Will I ever go back?

    Was I ever wanted at all?

    Can I do it and still walk tall?.


    I’m lookin’ back looking at you

    And all the things I thought were true.

    But I’m learning it, step by step

    Until one day I’ll be adept

    Then you won’t find me here

    Or alone lost in fear


    You’ll see me glad as the morning sun

    When the world and I become as one.




    A New Name

    2008 - 10.18

    How do I feel at the end of my name?

    I’ve carried it so far and now it will become a memory.

    To stand silent and watch a phantom of yourself walk away

    As the bright shiny you walks in the door

    Is like being at your own wake.


    With the fading of memory will go many things

    Some dear, some painful, but mostly useless

    I’ll keep a few memories of my old life

    Dear treasures to my heart

    To be my age and feel so old is a crime against my soul

    And its cause will suffer my vengeance.


    For with my new name fresh winds will blow

    Now I am a musician, another Dylan wannabe.

    New vigor will come, my power will again grow strong.

    Feet that once strayed for years will resume a different heading

    I’ll go on, yes we all will, to the journeys end.