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    2014 - 09.21

    I was warned about this, running ahead in the game to the end of the beginning.
    Postulating all of the what ifs, wondering about outcomes of my actions
    Worrying about the ramifications of what I have done, the falseness imposed.
    The path I was forced onto because of the lies of others.

    The longest year throwing off the yoke, the chains, escaping the prison
    The man made prison, that I stumbled into, the quenching of my fire.
    And the anger, a beast that I tamed and put to work for my salvation
    Who bites and chaffs at the bridle I put on its flaming head.

    Alone now, surrounded by my failures, missed chances, lost time.
    My soul stands free in the rubble of my previous existence
    I am free, but I am alone. Surrounded by saccharine smiles
    No one really cares, they are staring at ghosts of my broken past.

    As my life gradually wore down and time ran from my fingertips
    My time alone is a constant factor, I must love myself before I can love life.
    People are just a figment of the imagination, something no longer real to me
    There are many labels for this state of mind, some real, some not quite.

    I look at my hand before my face, It has aged suddenly and I watch time run
    Time, the only real constant, shows me the skeleton that my hand will be
    At the end of the path, ashes to ashes, The river of time erodes all of me
    Pain becomes the only indication of life, all else is numb.

    I will not speak openly of this, it scares the young and the falsely happy
    It creates the distance that I so openly embrace, between myself and love
    Between the forgotten times and the times that are yet to come
    But having glimpsed the end, there is no  hurry.

    (SG2014)

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